Addictions: A Shared Journey
The other day, I was speaking with a colleague about their smoking habit. It’s a long-term addiction, one they’ve wrestled with for years. Like any addiction, it has its own price to exact: on their health, well-being, and even their sense of self. They knew, deep down, how much it was costing them. Yet, as they put it, they just couldn’t find a way out. In that moment, I felt compelled to share something personal: I too have battled with my addictions.
One of my favourite therapists, Arnold Mindell, often said that everyone has addictions. No one is immune. Life doesn’t let anyone off the hook when it comes to confronting the ways we become reliant, sometimes even trapped, by things that don’t truly serve us. It’s part of the human condition. That said, the range of addictions we face is vast, spanning from substances like food, drugs, and alcohol to behaviours such as exercise or work. Mindell even highlighted how addictions can extend to everyday rituals and social norms: things seemingly harmless such as coffee or salt can become unhealthy addictions for some.
For me, the reality of addictions came into stark focus when I returned home from the war in Afghanistan. The experiences I brought back were heavy, complex, and often overwhelming, particularly because they seemed to trigger many of my unresolved childhood wounds. To cope, I turned to intoxicants in the late afternoon, relying on them more and more to soothe the aching within. In the moment, these intoxicants felt like a solution: a quick way to numb the pain and quiet the chaos. But over time, it became clear that the very thing I thought was helping me was quietly taking its toll on my health, relationships, family, and sense of purpose.
At Spacious Minds, inspired by the traditions of Arnold Mindell, I offer an empathetic and psychotherapeutic view of addictions. I see addictions as arising from a deep longing to connect with an altered way of being with ourselves, a yearning to shift into a state that feels safe, expansive, or even transcendent. In this light, addictions often become our way of seeking relief from inner tension. Therapy, then, is a method to discuss and discover the mystery lying within that process.
The path to healing, then, is not about suppressing the desire for the addictive substance but about learning to engage with the underlying need consciously and intentionally. This approach involves exploring the deeper messages and wisdom hidden within the addictive behaviour: What is it trying to tell us? What unmet needs or unprocessed emotions are calling for attention? What parts are protected in this behaviour? When do you first recall needing this addictive substance as a remedy? Through this lens, therapy is not about judgment or willpower alone but about curiosity, compassion, and uncovering what addiction reveals about our relationship with ourselves and the world.
And the world doesn’t get off lightly here. Living in our current environment, it’s no surprise that addictions are so pervasive. Our society is filled with stressors, pressures, and influences that often encourage reliance on substances or behaviours as coping mechanisms. From relentless marketing of ultra-processed, highly addictive junk foods to the widespread acceptance of doom scrolling social media, working late, or relying on caffeine to keep going, we are surrounded by triggers. And this doesn’t even touch on harder substance use, like the cocaine that keeps some shift workers and managers powering through or the Friday night drinks that blend into Saturday’s hangover and Sunday’s anxiety.
Understanding the role of our environment in shaping addictive behaviours is not about assigning blame but expanding our awareness. When we see how societal norms, cultural expectations, and even our immediate surroundings contribute to the struggle, we can begin to address the problem more holistically. Releasing addictions is not just about personal effort; it is about acknowledging and addressing the societal and environmental factors that make them so easy to fall into.
For those struggling with addiction, the journey often starts with one simple, brave step: acknowledging it. From there, it’s about finding the right tools and support. My own journey fifteen years ago in releasing most of my addictions (though I’ll admit, I’m still a die-hard potato chip addict! Hot or cold, I just can’t resist) required a multi-pronged approach of therapy, mindfulness, and the support of my immediate family. Recovery, in my experience, isn’t linear or perfect. It’s messy, human, and deeply personal.
Every journey towards releasing addiction is unique, but one thing remains true: it’s incredibly difficult to do alone. At Spacious Minds, I provide a compassionate space where you can explore the roots of your addictive behaviours, uncover what they’re protecting/asking of you and discover a pathway to healing that feels authentic to you. Recovery is possible, and you don’t have to walk this path alone. If you're ready to take the first step towards releasing your addictions, I'd love to hear from you. Send me a text, drop me an email to start a conversation about how we can work together, or book a connection call directly through my website: spaciousminds.com.au. Let’s explore this journey together.